


long before

by gentlygolden



Series: cashilde oneshots [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: (not mentioned; but it’s basically what happened right before this), (that’s partially why she’s so upset about him maybe not reciprocating), Crying, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mind Meld, Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Self-Discovery, also the oldest brother is there but only to be confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:49:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gentlygolden/pseuds/gentlygolden
Summary: She felt so comforted just thinking about it, but then she remembers his eyes, and thinks——he doesn’t love me.(or: some mutual pining is resolved)
Relationships: Castiel Montegomery/Hilde Montegomery, Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Series: cashilde oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663096





	long before

**Author's Note:**

> This is set pretty close after their first introduction; Hilde has only been with them around five months at this point. Some mind-meld shenanigans happen (for whatever reason I’ve since forgotten), and Hilde nearly retracts back into her metaphorical shell.

“. . .And I just remember feeling so  _ lonely _ , all the time, and so confused, and. . . And  _ alienated _ .” He was silent for a moment. “I can’t believe I never  _ picked up _ on it.” Cas sighed, and rolled over onto his back. Suddenly, he sat up and leapt off the bed, leaving his brother to blink in confusion as he raced towards Hilde’s room. 

In another part of the castle, moments before. . .

“I was so  _ happy _ ! Everything was just. . . I felt so confident, and  _ loved.  _ It was nice, to finally feel that.” She paused. “He made-  _ makes _ me feel that.  _ He _ makes me happy.” She then frowned, and her eyes began to water. 

“But, he’s  _ ignoring _ me, and. . . is it  _ me _ ? Am  _ I _ . . . Do I  _ not _ make him happy?” Shuddering, Hilde exhaled. 

“I don’t know what I’d do if. . . If. . . If he. . .” Kenopsia furrowed her brow in sympathy, but gulped when Hilde choked back a wet sob. She pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes, then gracelessly dropped them to her lap. Tears welled and coursed down her cheeks. Hilde tilted over and collapsed onto the comforter, cries muffled in her pillow. Kenopsia remained vertical, but slowly slid off the bed. As her feet hit the floor, she turned and bent so she was level with her weeping friend. 

“D’you want some space?” She couldn’t tell if Hilde had nodded, or was simply trembling more violently. She waited but no response came, so she shuffled out and quietly closed the door. She hadn’t gotten a yard away when Cas came hurtling towards her; or rather,  _ past  _ her, as she would realize later. 

“Is she- is she okay?” His face was pink, and he was panting. She merely gazed at her brother with a pitiful look, and turned away. Cas glanced briefly at his sister’s retreating form before facing and slowly opening the door in front of him. 

He crept in, and shuffled in socked feet towards the bed, where Hilde lay so still he thought she might be asleep. Cautiously, he placed a hand on her shoulder and murmured her name.

“Hilde?” She shifted minutely, and Cas took this to mean she was listening.

“Can we. . . I mean—”, he sighed frustratedly and sat by her on the edge of the bed, “. . . We need to talk.” 

She remained silent. 

“I guess. . . I’m sorry we didn’t talk, after it happened. I. . . I needed to process what I felt— but that doesn’t mean I  _ wasn’t _ thinking about you, cause I  _ was _ , and. . .” He stopped as he noticed Hilde was facing him. Watching him, rather, as her face was still mostly buried in her pillow. Their eyes met, and Cas felt a surge of confidence and guilt when he saw her tear-reddened gaze following his words. He took a deep breath and continued.

“. . . You  _ do  _ make me happy. I care about you, my family does too; and I know they care about  _ everybody _ , but they always  _ mean  _ it. And. . . I mean it, too, when I say I think I care about you more than my family does. Not in a  _ bad  _ way; just. . . a different way.” He could feel his eyes watering as Hilde pushed herself up and faced him. They were both leaning close, drawn like magnets. She breathed shakily as he took her right hand in his left to intertwine their fingers, and his free hand rose up, handkerchief clutched gently, to wipe away the salty residue left by her crying. Continuing to gasp for breath, she leaned into his touch when he cupped the back of her head and pulled her close. Her hand found the small of his back and fisted in his shirt, and she nestled in the crook of his neck, shuddering. 


End file.
